BOSTON, MA (WBZ-AM) – Valentine’s Day may be great and romantic day for some for others not so much.
Psychologist Dr. Jessica Griffin, a Psychologist, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at UMass Medical School in Worcester and relationship expert on reality television series “Married at First Sight” and “Seven Year Switch,” says that the holiday can be one of the most stressful days for men and women because of expectations placed by today’s society.
“It’s one of the most stressful days for the year for men and women who may have expectations that aren’t met. That’s part of the problem we have in our society. We get so many messages about what to expect on Valentine’s Day and we may set our self-up for disappointment if it doesn’t work out the way we want it to,” Griffin said.
She says that couples should instead instead prioritize and focus on each other.
“The most realistic expectation you can have for Valentine’s Day rather than focusing on the gifts is to spending time with your love one,” she said. “Making sure that both of you are prioritizing taking time out of hour day to focus on the other one rather what he or she is going to give me and are they going to meet whatever my expectations is,” Griffin said.
Communication is key and not everyone express love the same way.
“People keep experience love, receive love and give love in different ways and if you don't keep that in mind your partner may or may not think that you are expressing your love adequately or you may feel like you're giving them a loving gesture but they're not feeling it as love.” She said.
“So it's really important that you communicate about what your particular love languages or without using that term how you feel love most,” she said.
She adds that relationships is like exercise, couples need to put the work in. Whether they have been together less than a year or for decades.
“You have to put in the work in to your relationship -- couples who have kids make sure that you are prioritizing your date night and plan for the two of you to be together. The best time to work on your relationship is before things get out of hands,” she said.
You can listen to the full interview below with WBZ NewsRadio1030’s Laurie Kirby.